I'm a tricky Liberal

This Friday, I'm sharing secret information with all of you. So don't tell anyone

This is (apparently) all the little tricks we liberals use to win debates, turn other people to the dark side, etc.

Making arguments that have superficial appeal to the dimwitted, but are actually nonsensical and probably not believed by the liberal himself

Such as: the gays are trying to destroy the Family! Terrorists hate us for our freedom! The government wants to take your guns and ban Jesus! Oh, wait, is that not liberals?

So as not to show his true beliefs of supporting evil infanticide and taxpayer-funded abortion, Barack Obama insists he is pro-choice, but not pro-abortion.

You got me there. I think abortion is the best thing since sliced bread, and I just can't stand babies. I'm sure Obama feels the same way

Inserting a liberal assumption into a question, as illustrated by the classic "When did you stop beating your wife?!"

First, I have never heard anyone use that in a serious discussion. Second, everyone realizes how stupid this is in about, oh, 3rd grade

Pretending that atheism equals intelligence.

Right, no Christian ever acts all high and mighty when discussing their beliefs. I absolutely have know some fucking stupid, holier-than-thou atheists, but it's certainly not unique to one side

Liberals befriending you so that you become liberal. (Conversely, why don't they become conservative?)

Completely true. The only reason I speak to my father is because he used to be a Republican, but I turned him.

Citing "it doesn't hurt to try!" (In reference to drugs, alcohol, and other immoral behaviors such as premarital sex, worshiping other gods/many gods/no gods, homosexuality, or abortion)

First of all, some of these things are absolutely fine to try. Second, I don't think people really "try" abortion. And remember when I brought up people thinking Christianity = intelligence happens just as much as atheism = intelligence? Well here's a great example

Claiming that because everyone else supposedly believes in something, therefore it must be right.

Completely false. A lot of people believed that segregation was right (conservatives), but it wasn't. Many people still think denying gay couples equal rights under the law is right (conservatives), but it isn't. The recent overturning of California's Proposition 8 is an excellent example. The majority believed in it, but that didn't make it right. That's the reason we have the court system. That's why the Constitution is sovereign, our laws. Not the people. The people can be wrong and swept up by emotions

There is a shortage of everything we want.

Wait, isn't that a conservative thing? There's not enough for everyone, so I'm gonna get mine, everyone else is on their own?

Prayer is for dummies, or is antiquated.

Just factually retarded. There are plenty of religious liberals. Does Conservapedia think that none of the many Catholic liberals pray? Cause that's just stupid. Are they even trying to be serious at this point?

Kids are getting smarter than old folks.

They say that like it's an obvious impossibility. With the incredible access to a huge amount of information today's youth has, it's actually not a patently unfair statement. Respect your elders does not equal considering them automatically more intelligent than you

Demonizing conservatives and pretending they don't care about regular people.

That's because the very essence of conservatism is advancing of the interests of the powerful and wealthy elite. I suppose a conservative can care about regular people, and just be blind to the fact that they won't be helping them at all

If you don't like it (something offensive on television), don't watch it (but they don't seem to go for if you don't like whales being killed, don't watch them being killed).

Boobies and death are basically the same thing

Believing the poor are blameless because they have nothing and the rich are to blame because they have everything.

Clearly it's just that simple. If your poor, it's because you're not trying. Circumstances be damned. Yes, some people just don't try. But there are plenty of people who haven't even had the opportunity to try. The myth of the poor man simply pulling himself up by the bootstraps and becoming wealthy is exactly that, a myth. The real world just isn't that simple. Conservatives would know that if they actually lived in it

Inserting false information, usually lewd into a respected work or group of works.

Someone's butt-hurt that their online encyclopedia was vandalized. And respected? Keep dreaming

Defending the assuration that democrats.com is not affiliated with the Democratic party. (We are told as an independent website, Democrats do not control the views of democrats.com.)

Democrats.com is not affiliated with the Democratic Party, and it is an independent website. That's just reality. Not hard to grasp. Also, "assuration"? Does whoever wrote this think that's real word?

Pretending an honorary degree does not give someone the right to be called "Doctor".

There's a difference between using the title, and using the title to fool people into thinking you're some kind of authority on a subject. When people hear doctor, they think expert. It's intellectually dishonest

Pretending affirmative action is the best way to fill positions, including President of the U.S.

Plenty of liberals don't believe in affirmative action. Also, I'm pretty sure that's a racist stab at Obama. It's not the first time either

Saying "If you believe that abortion is murder, don't have one!" as if abortion isn't undisputably the murder of a human being.

Well, it isn't "undisputably" murder. It isn't even indisputable. There's quite a bit of valid dispute

Supporting classlessness while pretending to care about the preservation of world culture.

Economic class, or classiness class? Cause the first isn't true, and the second is entirely subjective. And stupid.

Finding a diverse individual to be appealing or “cool” until they learn that the individual does not conform to their liberal agenda.

I think Bruce Willis is cool, and he's a conservative. Disproved.


I have to stop, you can read the rest of the list yourselves. See if they have anymore non-existent words. This is giving me an ulcer.